Awake, O Sleeper

Let’s pretend that people actually read this blog for a moment.

Now let me direct your attention over to this blog: syndicatelies is a fellow writer and simmer who has allowed me the great honor of editing her new fantasy series, Arina Felae.

I’m going to do a proper review of it later, but for right now, you can catch her first two chapters over at her wordpress.



Go tell Aunt Rhody…

I just love when I have a ton of ideas, but no motivation. It’s so much fun to have this kind of creative constipation. Almost as fun as ordinary constipation.

I want to start using my Angela tumblr as a dumping ground for short stories (from Angela’s POV) and random pictures around her house and Pleasantview and shit. I just gotta sit my ass down and force myself to be productive.

 But God, I’m just so lazy. So. Lazy.

My daughter is turning 6 in less than a month. Madness. It feels like only yesterday the midwife was trying to wrench my cervix open by hand… good times.

I need to start “auditioning” cupcake recipes pretty soon. Doing a Shopkins theme for some reason. Google tells me that a cupcake in a yellow wrapper with a dark turquoise frosting will suffice, which is good because I can bake just fine, but I can’t decorate for shit.

And that is life right now…

Desideratum – Chapter 3

I like how John and Natasha are kind of like a gender-flipped Mulder and Scully. I love that you seem to be keeping their relationship platonic, too. I haven’t really explored Desiderata Valley, but I’ve always viewed John and Natasha as being best friends who like to irritate each other moreso than potential romantic partners.

I’m probably just not looking hard enough, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen anyone actually explore Erin’s “psychic” persona, so I’m excited. I can’t wait to see her become more involved with Natasha and John.

I love the story so far. Chapter 4 sounds like it’s going to be amazing, I love when the various neighborhoods mingle.

Jaydesims' TS4 Stories


Chapter 3, one of my favorites! Hope you all enjoy. 🙂

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There were very few things Natasha would stop halfway through painting to see. A freshly made grilled cheese or John doing something stupid made that list, and seeing one of her old friends from Sim State was another one.

“Erin, you’re here!”

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“Yup! Thank you so much for inviting me down.” Erin giggled. “I needed a break from the other girls. Sometimes it’s too much living in that house!”

“Well feel free to make yourself at home. Are you hungry? I could make you a grilled cheese.”

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“Forget that Nat, I want to meet John! Didn’t you say he’s like a secret agent or something like that?” Erin smiled, blushing a bit. She had always had a thing for mysterious men.

“Uh, well, something like that.” Natasha mumbled. She already knew John was going to be mad at her for…

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Nothing and nowhere.

I had an idea for a short (original!) story that I was going to work on today… but then I laid down on the couch with Pumpkin and fell asleep. Now I can’t remember a damn thing.

Good work, me.

DDP Yoga came today, though, so hopefully I’ll have time motivation to give that a go later. I’ve wanted to try it for about a year now, but I kept forgetting to order it, which is just… the ultimate form of laziness. If I accomplish nothing else in this life, at least I will have unlocked the highest level of sloth. #trophywhore

I don’t know. I’ve been itching to write for a few days now, but every time I sit down at my computer, I just end up reblogging shit on tumblr for a while.

Also my stomach hurts and I don’t want to go swimming, but I promised my kid, sooooo… fuck it, I guess. I need the exercise, anyway.

Fingerbones [spoilers]

Free to play on Steam, apparently.

Lots of good reviews. Some shit about how it dared to explore themes that nobody else really does.

First of all, Rule of Rose. SECOND: There is a reason nobody drinks from that well. I’m not someone who feels that unpleasant or “triggering” themes should never be touched upon or explored; I’m not someone that believes that presenting something hideous is glorifying it. But “Fingerbones” didn’t explore a dark idea, it fucking exploited it. It’s a thinly plotted story of unspeakable cruelty and it doesn’t aspire to be anything better. Using child torture/murder as nothing more than shock value is heinous. Allowing a man who tortured his young daughter to death for his own sexual gratification (in one of the notes scattered about the game, the murder of his daughter is linked to the thrill of losing his virginity) to have a happy ending – to die peacefully in the room where he murdered a child, a room where he felt “free” – is grotesque.

And that’s it. That’s the game. You find a bunch of explicit notes that more or less straight up say “I KILLED MY DAUGHTER yaaaaas me slay“, use the names included in the notes to unlock doors, and eventually find yourself in the cellar where a table sits, drenched in blood. Text appears on the screen, informing us that his daughter finally died – either from starvation, dehydration, or blood loss, whichever one is most shocking amirite –  and he cut off her fingers and kept them as trophies. The game ends on a dark screen where we’re further informed that the father returned to the cellar to die, where he could still feel his daughter’s presence, where he could feel “free”.

I guess it was supposed to evoke feelings of true horror, but all it really did was enrage me. The father’s despicable act is basically glossed over. Yeah, sure, he killed his kid. Isn’t that dark? Isn’t that horrible? Isn’t that a fresh and unique angle for the horror genre? Wasn’t it scary?

No. It was bullshit. In a way, it did glorify the act of child murder. One of the more infuriating notes in the game is a somewhat lengthy missive lamenting the credibility of society’s morals and values, arguing that ideas such as “innocence” are man-made limitations that he shouldn’t be restrained by. Another one flatly states that he feels no remorse or guilt in killing his daughter, because he is safe in the knowledge that he did nothing wrong.

These notes are not presented as the demented ramblings of a sick fuck. They’re just there. As if though he’s right; he did nothing wrong. Society is the one with the problem. We’re all just a bunch of pearl-clutching prudes for thinking things like child abuse and murder are abhorrent. We’re just a bunch of non-murderous crybabies.



I realize that I’m taking this too personally, but the game was fucking garbage. It was boring, tedious to play, and had zero subtlety. It wasn’t scary and no, I don’t need or even want “jump scares” in a horror game; sneering at popular horror devices doesn’t make a shitty game any less shitty, but god knows “Fingerbones” tried it.

I just need to work out some of my anger so I can move on and go hate something better.