American Horror Story: Freak Show is a shitshow so far. I like a lot of the characters (Dandy in particular, and I was not expecting that upon his introduction) and will mourn a couple more, but so far it’s been so fucking slow and sluggish and I’m sick of the singing, Jessica Lange’s accent is hard to understand the vast majority of the time (although Kathy Bates is slaying me with that Boston thing she’s doing), and quite frankly, if they plan on making Emma Roberts a regular and Jessica Lange does in fact leave after this season, I’m done. Four seasons now (sort of) and only one has been even remotely appealing (Asylum, and Evan Peters has been playing Kit ever since). Factor in an actress I adore leaving in exchange for one I find abhorrent and I’m ready to bail.
Of course, it’s only episode 4. I might be getting pissy prematurely. But “Murder House” and “Coven” especially were fucking rubbish and I just have so little faith in Ryan Murphy. I’ll keep watching, at least until they kill off Elsa/Paul the Seal Boy/Amazon Eve (got a bit of a crush on those last two; I wish they got more screen time and “Esmeralda” got none), but I’ll tell you, Jasper – I don’t like it.
In other horror media news: The Walking Dead took something away from me, and I want it back immediately; The Evil Within is really not worth the effort required to play it; V/H/S/2 can miss me with that suicidal zombie shit (although the demon cow god from the cult short was weirdly adorable like can I rub its belly or what); and The Lovely Bones remains a fucking terrible book, but the movie was okay…ish. I won’t ever watch it again, but I liked it well enough and really appreciated that they cut out all of the Lindsay/Sam fairytale romance garbage that helped make the book so intolerable.
Finally, someone just sneezed in what sounded like the laundry room, and I’m home alone right now, so I guess I’m a little fucking worried at the moment. If I never update this again, I either got bored and walked away from it forever, or I got murdered, but either way, we can all take comfort in the fact that nobody reads this anyway.